Do you ever wonder if you’re really accomplishing anything? I do. Do you ever feel like the Lord has put you in a place where everything you are supposed to be doing is something you just aren’t good at or equipped for? I do. Sometimes the Lord gives us little glimpses of what He is doing, but not always. When I read where Paul was told “My grace is sufficient for you, My power is made perfect in weakness” I’m like…yeah that’s good for Paul who knew deep down that he wasn’t really weak…right? When I think of the Apostle Paul, weak is the last thing that comes to mind, but I’m starting to think that Paul probably saw himself differently. Maybe when he talked about only boasting in the cross, he wasn’t just speaking platitudes because he knew he could take credit for so much more…he really did feel like he didn’t deserve credit for anything.
In the past few weeks I’ve been struck with the degree to which I really don’t feel qualified for anything that I’m doing right now! I’ve had seasons where I’ve thought “Wow, now THIS is what I was made for” but this is not one of those seasons. Pretty much every area of responsibility I have today involves a steep learning curve, and it’s hard to find a place to stand!
Last week I was working on SalesForce, which is part of what I am doing for our new Pioneers team. When I talked to one of their nonprofit employees who helps people get started, he said “Most nonprofits I talk to don’t have somebody with your level of understanding” and it felt like he was either trying to be nice…or saying they all know more than I do!
Later that week, while running errands with the boys in the car, I was listening to a book called Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus. Here I am today as a student in the course that I should eventually be able to lead, and the author of this book was one of the speakers in the course material. The boys were in the backseat playing as I listened to the book, and then all of a sudden Ezekiel said “Dad can you pause this?” I thought he was getting bored with it, but he had actually been listening and wanted to clarify that he was hearing it right! People actually believe that Jesus is the Messiah, Word of God, sinless, born of a virgin, coming back to judge the world, and yet ISN’T God and didn’t die for sins? I got very little work done that day because Ezekiel spent 3-4 hours listening, stopping, asking questions, backing up to listen some more, and comprehending things that so many adults have trouble with.
Are you in Christ? If you are, God is not inactive. In his immutability, he is so infinitely active that He could never be more or less so. Despite our weakness, insecurity and failure, God chose to use you, and me, for His kingdom…believe it or not. Justin Culp
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